Sheffield University Officer Elections 2015 (Education Officer)

Education Officer time!

Peter (Pete) David

Slogan

Back The Beard!

Slogan

-5/10. REPETITION. NO.

Manifesto

I am passionate about the possibilities (So…just the possibilities? There’s no studies or anything like that?) of a democratic approach to education. I want Sheffield to be a place (It already is a place) where citizenship is fostered (but not adopted), and space for an active, participatory (isn’t that implied by the word active) democracy runs through our education policy (we have a policy!?). This principle should feature in every aspect of our learning, from module content to interdisciplinary study to finding new ways of learning (because sod the old ones). Here are my policies: (You mean they aren’t ice cream cones?)

A Democratic Education at Sheffield (What if I want a dictatorship education?)

Create opportunities for students and departmental societies to organise and challenge existing learning models (I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL! I shall learn to count to one hundred through interpretive dance!). To enable students to pursue new methodologies (isn’t Sheffield already a research led university?), new ways of learning, confront outdated assumptions (how about the assumption that this isn’t already done?) and influence the creation of new module subjects (Jeeves, get me the module list for next year. Oh no man, this won’t do, let’s ask a student what should be on there. The physics of balloons you say? Genius! Ten points to Gryffindor!).

To reform AchieveMore (what now?) and our approach to interdisciplinary study (so, engineering using philosophers as pieces of a Newton’s cradle?). To ensure its content and value comes from a continued and meaningful consultation with students (Students don’t know anything! THAT’S WHY THEY’RE STUDENTS).

To build an accountable model of module feedback (What’s unaccountable about the current model?), ensuring students’ concerns and suggestions are taken seriously (aren’t they?).

Unheard Voices

To provide greater academic and personal support to part-time students (nice idea), giving them an education which works around their life (Erm, you don’t have the power to do that…).

A stronger voice for postgraduate students. More support on career development for postgrads (do they get less support than undergrads or something?) and a stronger voice in the Union (most of them don’t care. They’ve realised the Union is a bit of a worthless placee). Better training and support for PhD students who are involved in teaching.

I grew up in Sheffield (ey up) and I know the civic values of this University, and I worry that they’re being eroded by marketisation (what does that even mean!?). I don’t want our education experience to be a transaction (It is. You pay the university money, they teach you stuff), but a community in which citizenship and the principles of this civic institution are rediscovered.

Score: -2/10. Come on man, a lot of that is pointless.

Minesh Parekh

Slogan

#Min4TheWin - Vote Minesh for Education

Rating

0/10. You could have just gone with Vote Min 4 The Win and you'd be on 5/10.

Manifesto

Hi! My name’s Minesh (and I’m an alcoholic?) and I’m running to be your Education Officer (DAMMIT). Education has the power to change lives (it also has the power to destroy them. I feel like this is the beginning of a B movie), but there are still many things that can be done to improve it, and to make it free and accessible to all (which evidently isn’t an improvement). This is my Mineshfesto (Go die in a fire)!

❶ (Oh look at you, fancyman with your unicode characters) No Hidden Costs (I think I’ve wondered into a Quick Cash Loan ad accidentally again)

• Printing should be free for all students (Meanwhile, in San This Will Get Abused Francisco…)

• No to exam re-sit fees (Say no to them all you like. They’ll still exist)

• Free dissertation & thesis binding (Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

• Enough copies of key texts to be provided by the university (Ahahahahahahahahahahaha)

❷ Free Education (FREE EDUCATION! FOR TOO LONG HAS HE BEEN LOCKED UP WHILE THATCHER CALLED HIM A TERRORIST)

• Fight for free education on a local and national level (MMA style I’m assuming)

• Integrated Masters’ Degrees across the board to make postgraduate study more accessible (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

• Lobby for living grants for all students (An actual lobby filled with living grants is more realistic than what you propose)

❸ A Better University

• Better representation so your voices are heard (How are we underrepresented?)

• Improve the feedback system by supporting PhD staff with better wages and paid training (How does that improve the feedback system!?)

• More transparent university structures and democratic decision-making (What? How does that help?)

• Printers in university accommodation (Oh my goodness, an actual SENSIBLE policy. Did you fall down the stairs before writing that?)

Vote Minesh For Education – #Min4TheWin (Nobody uses hashtags. Nobody)

Score: -5/10. Wow. Just, how are you ever going to do any of that.

If I were a student at Shef Uni, I’d RON the shit out of this position. Neither of them are sensible.