Sheffield University Officer Elections 2015 (Sports Officer)

To the Sports!

Nicholas (Nic) Wood

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Tick for Nic!

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8/10. Well played sir!

Manifesto

Firstly, I want to introduce a SU-wide sponsorship scheme for clubs (Didn’t that…fizzle?). This would include the use of society discount/loyalty cards that provide discounts and deals on food and drink in all Student’s Union venues. Previous attempts at SU sponsorship of clubs have not gone far enough (AND NEITHER DOES THIS!) and this scheme would provide better deals and incentives for sports clubs to make the most of the facilities available in their student’s union (So…just the shops?).

Secondly, I would work with Sport Sheffield to provide a better deal for sports clubs in the face of rising costs. I would like to introduce free fitness classes (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) for all club sport members. This would be a great way to improve team fitness throughout the season and in preparation for varsity without increasing club membership fees (won’t doing this mean that costs will rise to get these free classes to exist?).

Most importantly, I want to break down barriers and misconceptions people have regarding joining sports clubs (What if my misconception is that I’m good at sports?). Sport Sheffield has done amazing work promoting the #thisgirlcan campaign (That was them?) and I want to continue this and encourage more women to take part in sport at university (Awesome). I also want to encourage more international students to play sport during their time in Sheffield (Even better). To achieve these goals I would work with other SU Officers (So… do your job?) to encourage participation in sport across the whole of campus, including better representation of other groups typically underrepresented in the Student’s Union – LGBT and BME students especially deserve proper support and I would provide that in my role as Sports Officer (Good man). Sport at university should bring people together, not divide them! (Unless you support Hallam or whoever our rivals are)

Score: 5/10

Robert Moran

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Give Rob the Job

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5/10. I was going to give you 8 but then I realised that I'd added the exclaimation mark. Removing it made the pun look sad. Nobody likes a sad pun.

Manifesto

I’m Rob Moran (and I’m an alcoholic?) and I want to be your next Sports Officer (DAMMIT). I’m very involved in UoS sport (Good thing for a sports officer to be), playing Intra Mural Hockey and Football for the Politics and English Societies respectively and having helped found the UoS Baseball Club I now sit on its inaugural committee (Literally? Please tell me you literally sit on the other committee).

I want to offer more assistance to those setting up and managing new sports clubs (Do we need more? What’s not covered?). Founding a club has given me a great understanding of the difficulties faced by all new clubs and I want to support them and simplify the process (I’m assuming it’s more complicated that the Society one where you just ask “Can I make a society?”) for anyone setting up and running a club.

Working with Hallam to establish more Varsity events (Oh good, they’re our rivals) is another of my priorities. We currently have sports clubs without an equivalent at Hallam (How many? Is one of the your new Baseball club? Are they the only ones?) and their members miss out on the Varsity experience. I’d encourage Hallam to set up clubs for these sports so more students can experience Varsity.

I’d also improve Sport Sheffield response times (something something bleep test). It regularly takes over a week for email replies and to release money from a club’s bank account. I want to help everyone get a response within 48hours (How? By standing in their office saying “Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnswer”?) and to drastically reduce the time it takes to release a club’s funds.

Sport at the university should be publicised more in the second semester (Won’t people then have missed out on 3 months training?). Clubs should offer reduced fees for those who want to join after Christmas (sensible) and I would establish a second Sports Fair in February (Oh good, because the February Society fairs aren’t at all crowded) so that exchange students and those who missed the first one can still discover all of the amazing sports we offer.

#GiveRobTheJob (NOBODY USES HASH TAGS)

Score: 4/10. At least you’re reaching for the stars.

Charlie Joe Wright

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Your Wright to Sport

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8/10. What I love about this is you could argue that he's used the wrong "Your", and it would still work. Very impressive.

Manifesto

Having played Rugby Union here for 4 years (Shouldn’t you also have been studying?), I know Sport at Sheffield is about being a member, not a customer, and that the more you put in, the more you get out. I want to help you achieve your personal goals (And I’ve wandered into a hypnotist’s ad) by providing opportunities to keep fit and healthy, whichever way suits you best (what if no way suits me best?); in an environment where every achievement counts.

Your relationship with Sheffield (Something something take it to the next level) - Building stronger links with local clubs and schools is a priority (Oh good, I’m sure that the joys of DBS checks will be great and worthwhile). More should be done (This is more. So it should be done) to encourage students to engage with the Sheffield community, taking advantage of the wealth of sport the city has to offer.

Find a Friend - Getting involved can be even easier - I want a buddy (Don’t we all)scheme dedicated to those individuals joining a sports team mid-semester, to help keep up with training and make sure that new members feel included in the club culture.

Grassroots Opportunities - Provide Sport Sheffield members with the chance to gain coaching qualifications (Good idea), so they can give back to the rest of the sporting community by sharing knowledge at all levels of ability (Even my crappy level of ability? SOLD).

‘All Weather’ means ‘All Weather’ (and this tautology is a tautology)- Covering the 3G pitches in the evenings and during adverse weather conditions will ensure that the surface is usable all year round. (WHY THE HELL ISN’T THIS ALREADY DONE!?)

Recognition of Participation - We need more commitment from the Union to keep all students updated with the fantastic hard work and results that everyone achieves each week (That sounds like people will start getting awards that say “Well done. You participated), with more publication reaching the wider university community.

YOUR WRIGHT TO SPORT (Hey! That’s the name of the show!)

Score: 5/10. Several point lost for the schools section. DBS can be a ballache.

Felicity (Flic) Wilbraham

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Tick Flic 4 Sport!

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4/10. One point lost for repeating, one point for using a 4. That just proves you must be disturbed.

Manifesto

I’m Flic (And I’m an alcoholic?), a third year Biomed student (DAMMIT) and I would love to be your new Sports Officer. I’ve been heavily involved in university sport over the last 3 years (I’m glad that’s the case) and have had a range of uni sporting experiences. I play hockey and squash, and have been treasurer on the squash committee for the past 2 years (Do treasurers for sports societies actually do anything? They mostly don’t in the Activities world…). This year, I coach at the social sport squash sessions, captain the girls’ 1st squash team and play Intra Mural hockey.

My policies:

• Competitive matches against other unis for non-BUCS (BUCS?) players

Organising matches against other nearby unis for those who aren’t on a BUCS (Be Universally Cool Socially?) team for their chosen sport or those who do a sport where there is no BUCS (Bring Up Child Snakes?) team.

• Wednesday afternoons ARE for SPORT (Or in my case, for work. But different strokes)

Encourage (Just encourage?) departments not to timetable lectures or labs on Wednesday afternoons to allow everyone to participate in sport or other activities.

• Publicity

Sports clubs being aware of other sports clubs events’ to encourage more support (I misread that last word as sport. The sentence is then infinitely better). Meetings could be held with club captains to discuss upcoming events. (I’m sure they’ll all want to)

Forge to cover all sports played at uni (Don’t they do that already?). This will also encourage more people to get involved in sport. (Oh god. Does the word Sport mean anything anymore?)

• Lower match transport costs

Teams travelling to the same unis for matches should be able to share transport to lower costs for each club. (Wait, they can’t do that already!?)

• Injury support/rehabilitation services

More accessible support through the University. (Well, if you’re injured you do need accessible support…)

• Encourage links with Sport Sheffield

Try (just try?) to incorporate subsidised gym membership for those who also pay membership to Club Sport.

• Win Varsity

Goes without saying, this city is ours! (Yeah! Let’s go and sport the sports!)

Score: 5/10

No strong feelings about these people. The Sports officer never really affected me.