Sheffield University Officer Elections 2016 (Education Officer)

Another day, another mockery! This time, Education!

Fun fact! This year, the slogans are infinitely harder to find, since they aren’t included on the SU website anymore, meaning I have to find their Facebook page. The fact I am unreasonably angry about this is a serious problem.

Education doesn’t tend to have the same thing mentioned year after year, so no bonus points on offer today.

Post

Education

Areas of remit

Academic Reps | Learning | University Collaboration

Description

• Representing student opinions on learning and teaching to the University
• Collaborating with academic representatives in departments
• Supporting student campaigns on educational issues

Alice (Ali) Day

Slogan

Don't dally, Vote Ali

Rating

8/10. Internal rhymes are the best rhymes

Manifesto

Education is such a valuable part of our lives (If I were still in education I don’t know if I’d be allowed to do this and that would upset people). I want you (Lord Kitchener called. He wants his slogan back) to have the opportunity to influence your own learning process (I influence it very well by not doing it). I recently had a submission of evidence published by the Parliamentary Select Committee investigating the government’s plans for higher education (What?). I argued against financially incentivising quality and in favour of students having a say in what happens to their education (But students are idiots! I know this because I USED TO BE A STUDENT). I want to lobby on your behalf (Oh, so we don’t really get a say eh?) to get students (UG and PG) (Oi! Leave the brackets!) to genuinely be at the heart of the system (Is…that a good idea? The heart of the system is probably bureaucracy…), with no barriers to education, so you get all that you can out of university.

Manifesto: (You don’t need that, I’ve done it for you)

Have your say!

Campaign for free education (I have a feeling you’ll be ignored)

Campaign against the Higher Education Green Paper which would raise the fee cap and treat students like consumers (Erm)

Negotiate the use of group work in final year and on different courses (For or against? Group work isn’t inherently evil you know. Or inherently good).

Don’t lose your way! (I’m already lost in this manifesto…)

Regular personal tutoring for every student (I’m sure the lecturers are going to love this)

Constructive feedback Tutors must comment on various categories when assessing work (Oh they definitely will love this. You know that not everything can be assessed that way?)

Study spaces in university accommodation with printers (Is the printer bit the problem, because whats the problem with just using your room? And where the hell would you put them!?)

Free black and white printing (Meanwhile, in San “This will totally be abused” Francisco) across campus

Accessible study skills support for international students (Good idea), online and face-to-face using my experience as an intern at the 301 Student Skills and Development Centre (Wait, you’re going to run these? Are you going to have time!?)

A brighter day! (A lovely dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)

‘How to survive on your course’ sessions for first years run by third years (Who the hell would want to do that), giving first-hand (Or…third hand?) advice about how to approach coursework, study style and assessment (I would just make sarcastic comments. But then again, I’m doing this right now)

Career development in every year (Who thinks about their career in first year!?)

Promote political education so you understand how political decisions affect you (Not a bad idea. As long as satire is a critical part)

Score: 4/10. I look forward to lecturers ignoring you.

Alex Richardson

Slogan

Enrich your education with Richardson

Rating

4/10. Half rhymes aren't real rhymes people. Stop it.

Manifesto

If elected, my aims would be:(What the hell? Why can’t people introduce themselves anymore!?)

Make the compulsory recording of lectures across the entire university a university policy (I actually like this, but that’s because I like not leaving the house). This would make lectures more accessible for all students as well as becoming a valuable revision material come exam periods (Also true. You’re off to a good start).

The way feedback is received from assignments, essays and exams needs improving (Exams aren’t meant for feedback…). In many courses first year doesn’t count towards the overall degree classification, and should be used as an opportunity to learn the skills needed to succeed come later years (Or, you could just not bother. Works for most peeps).

Greater clarity and justification of borderline grades would be useful tools to help students understand their grades and improve. (Another good idea! You’re on a roll!)

There should be a postgraduate and mature student study space (Oh for Pete’s sake, what is this obsession with giving these groups extra consideration? Are there really massive issues they face?). The university libraries fill up quickly (Good thing they built another), so the creation of a new study space would enable them to just work (So could everyone!) rather than fighting for desks and rooms (I like the idea of there being actual fights for desk space).

The fact that university services are closed on weekends means students taking Saturday exams are disadvantaged (What!? Really? How are they disadvantaged?). I would discuss with the University whether Saturday exams could be stopped (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA), or services extended in exam season.

Lastly, as a dyslexic student my education has benefited greatly from a DSA grant and services (Must. Avoid. Obvious. Joke). Under upcoming Government proposals, it will be harder for disabled students and those from less privileged backgrounds to access higher education. I would work hard to constructively oppose and ameliorate (Oooh, fancy word. I literally had to look it up. It means “Make better”) these cuts locally and nationally.

As a final year student, SU Councillor and Collections Coordinator for RAG, I’ve loved my university experience here (And it’s loved you). I’d love to spend a year improving it for other students (Awwww).

Score: 7/10. A good set of policies here, though you lost a point for the Saturday exam bit. I’m still laughing.

Imogen Sprackling

Slogan

To watch education grow: Vote Imo!

Rating

4/10. Half rhymes aren't real rhymes people. Stop it.

Manifesto

Education matters (You know, I’m giving you an extra point for just introducing yourself) and that’s why I want to be your Education Officer to ensure all students get the best educational experience possible! I will work hard (I was worried you’d slack off) to enhance your academic life here in Sheffield, improve student representation so your views are heard and campaign on national educational issues that matter to you.

Enhancing Student Experience – I want to… (break free?)

Improve the quality and consistency of feedback (I’m 90% sure that the lecturers will ignore you)

Put more core texts (Surely that’s already in their remit? And how do you decide which core texts need to be bought? I’ll bet you’ll just worry about your course. I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU) in the library and increase the number of online learning resources (What if there aren’t any easily available…)

Increase the number and accessibility of learning spaces around campus, especially during exam time (You’re aware the union basically becomes a revision zone, right?)

Encourage more cross-departmental engagement and collaboration (Oooh! Philosophy students as pendulums!)

Make postgraduate, part-time and mature students feel included in Student Union activities (I’m 80% sure they don’t feel included when you constantly SINGLE THEM OUT)

Provide a wellbeing (Aren’t they a toiletries brand?) support stall in the libraries and the Diamond around exam time

Improving Student Representation – I want to… (BREAK FREE)

Make Academic Reps more visible (What, paint them in neon?) and accessible and raise their profile among students

Make sure Academic Reps are equipped to represent students in all years of study (Are they not now? How?)

Ensure the views of the Postgraduate Students Committee and Academic Reps are shared with the university and acted upon (I thought that was already a big thing…)

Strong National Voice – I want to… (break free from your lies, you’re so self satisfied I don’t need you)

Campaign against rises in tuition fees and the loss of maintenance grants (I’m sure that’ll end well)

Keep supporting the ‘No Barriers to Education’ campaign (I’ve never heard of this)

I want to look closely at Higher Education Policy and at any changes the government are suggesting (Oh good. Going to give them feedback, or just look closely at it?)

Work with the Student Advice Centre to ensure students are supported and understand any changes the government make to Higher Education (But you’re a student officer. It’ll probably boil down to “OMG TORIES ARE EVIL”)

To Watch Education Grow: Vote Imo! (Hey! That’s the name of the show!

Score: 5/10. I feel barely anything.

Jamie Billington

Slogan

Live to learn, love to learn

Rating

0/10. You know what that is? Not a pun

Manifesto

Love Learning with Jamie

Live to Learn (You don’t need that many titles so close together)

Here I tackle all of the long term and financial problems: (I’ll be the judge of that)

Campaign against the rising costs of higher education (That sounds fun)

Oppose the replacement of grants with loans (Well, at least you’ll be opposing it)

Fight to remove all hidden costs (Well, you aren’t going to get them all. They’ll probably hide deeper underground)

Free necessary printing for your degree (What constitutes necessary printing!?)

Removing continuation fees for postgraduate students (What? That’s a thing? That’s bollocks)

Costs of essential textbooks and equipment (What about them?)

Free hot water facilities (…)

Continuation plans

More support for students advancing to postgraduate degrees here (What’s the problem at the moment?)

More support for students making a future unrelated to their specific degree (…)

Love to Learn

Here I tackle all of the more short term and personal issues, developing a more harmonious environment for everyone (Again, I’ll be the judge)

Peer support groups

I will create effective and useful peer support groups (Ahahahahahahahahahaha) of both academic and personal natures. Helping with everything from exam revision to settling in to university as a fresher.

Increased personal tutor involvement

More contact hours with your personal tutor allowing them to actually help you with your degree, with the option of additional study problems to track expected progress (Ain’t nobody got time for dat)

Encourage alternative learning styles for students who struggle with traditional methods (A good idea actually…)

Increased DDSS support for all departments

From the very first day at university the Disability and Dyslexia Support Service (How are they meant to track everyone!?) should be present and there for all students so no struggles go unnoticed

Ensure disabled students’ needs are met in accordance with DDSS and DSC’s pre-existing policies (How does this not happen already!?)

Feedback and communication forums

Increased communication between staff and students as well as continuous free feedback in both directions (I think that already can happen. It’s just that nobody does it)

Love Learning with Jamie!

Josh Berlyn

Slogan

Make education shine, with Josh Berlyne

Rating

7/10. Oooh, that's a good'un

Manifesto

Make Education Shine With Berlyne! (Hey! That’s the name of the show!)

Access to university currently comes at a high price (At least you don’t pay for it for ages). With my experience in local and national education campaigns (Which ones?), I want to change this by bringing all students together to campaign on the issues that really affect us (What if we’re armchair apathists, who spend their evenings mocking student officer election manifestos?).

Overcoming barriers to education

Improve the way departments deal with mental health issues (Always a good idea) for all students, including fairer policies for extensions and a healthier research culture (Good idea).

Put Sheffield students at the forefront of the national campaign against cuts to maintenance grants, Disabled Students’ Allowance and the Postgraduate Support Scheme (But I’m busy in my armchair!).

Ensure the University doesn’t use the government’s ‘counter-terrorism’ “Prevent” agenda to unduly target Muslim students (Oooh, another good idea. Shame they could quite easily ignore you…).

Campaign for the post-study work visa to be re-instated for international students (I’m sorry, but I think you’ll be ignored…).

Getting you involved and organised in your education (Organised!? That sounds terrible!)

A Students’ Inquiry (Oh god, not another one) at all levels to find out the issues that really impact you. This is more than just a survey (It sounds like a survey): I will use it to connect students affected by the same issues, bringing them into existing campaigns (What, like a dating app?) or helping set up new ones.

“Policy forum” meetings and monthly email updates, keeping you up-to-date on changes to higher education (That’s a really good idea actually. I’m convinced most officers do something but we never see it).

Enhancing academic life for all (Even those who mock student officer manifestos?)

Postgraduate teachers are overworked, poorly paid and have little office space . This means little time to prepare for seminars and not enough time to give detailed feedback. I want to:

Work closely with postgraduate representative groups and the UCU (the academic staff union) (Leave the brackets. They’re mine) to improve working conditions.

Expand and connect postgraduate representative groups to campaign for better supervision and development programmes.

Score: 8/10. Quite sensible actually